February's Daily Drawing Is Done

And with that, a personal challenge to myself is done (note: I didn't employ any consistency in uploading. Some stuff was uploaded to other accounts; I'll post a quick retrospective later on).

About this sudden return to blogging...

It's hard. Mustering even competent-levels of productivity on the blogging front has been challenging, especially since I have other work I ought to be doing (proper CG rocket exhaust, Xenopermian drawings/paintings, other stuff I won't allow myself to mention...).

So I have to admire people like Glendon Mellow, Trish, and, really, anyone in the Art Evolved crew (linky below right) who not only writes, but manages to post sketches/completed work, too. Apart from being awesome, how do they do it?

In my previous post, I failed to mention (unacceptable!) I have a pretty kickass crew of friends (acceptable!); so things are looking up. Nevertheless, I've allowed my ability to become depressed to push down my output in general, and if there's anything that I hate more about this aspect of my psychology, I'd like to be introduced to it (not actually an offer).

But thanks to some great people and technology (like an awesome girlfriend, full-spectrum illumination, and possibly some old toy trains dug out for the Xmas tree), I've managed to shake the funk enough to get back to drawing. And now, possibly, blogging, too.

So here's what's on the agenda: I need to get organized, but I think my range needs to be broadened. I do a lot of dinosaurs and extinct animals. I need to do other things as well.

I also need to do less work digitally. I'm not abandoning the Cintiq, nor Photoshop, but I really do love watercolor, and as intense as it is actually painting with watercolor, there's a release from it that I don't get from open-ended media which have no definite sense of completion; a watercolor is done once the page is full. With digital, or even oils to an extent, I don't get the same sense of finality, of being finished with something.

Recently, I've been fantasizing about the ideal studio. As of this moment, it's a dark room filled with banks of computer equipment in a corner (quite loud when powered up, but a necessary component of my work), and surrounded by books (which isn't so bad), or it's a noisy cafe.

But if I had unlimited access to resources, I'd like a small, octagonal building, maybe 25 feet in diameter, surrounded by windows, flooded with natural light. Room for cabinets for laying artwork out flat, a modest art library, an easel or two, light table, scanner and a laptop. And room for watercolors.

Maybe someday.

An Unforgotten Anniversary

A year ago today I was discharged from work. It's been a rough year, filled with a lot of stress from not knowing what's going to happen. But we have survived. And the struggle for work and a new job goes on.

Small Updates of Multiple Events

Hey. Still alive, still looking for work, and still working on work that will help me to find work. I just wanted to reassure the world: I'm not going anywhere, but posting remains lean for now.

I'm moving very rapidly, and time dilates accordingly. But I'm still here.

In the World Where I've Been...

Though Antigua isn't visible, I've been there, too:


visited 5 states (2.22%)
Create your own visited map of The World or try another Douwe Osinga project

In the US, Where I've Been...

visited 26 states (52%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or try another Douwe Osinga project

This is a Good Land, and we will rule over all this land...

And now, a word from one of our sponsors, some cake I had last week to celebrate a day (today) this week:


"I think we should call it your grave!"

"Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

"Hahaha! Mine is an EVIL laugh!"

"Oh dear god in heaven!"

What Will Be Done

My decision as it now stands: I'm stayin' the course. I still feel I need to commit to more rigorous improvements in my art, and I need to do it soon.

Since there have been a few recommendations along the technical I've received from strangers, I want to make something clear: the SGI is my last computer. I intend to use it until I no longer can upgrade/repair it, something to be treated as a perfect brush.

Part of the reason is that this is what I know. The larger part is that I simply don't want to be stuck using and maintaining mediocrity for the the rest of my professional life. Learning a new OS is, from my perspective, a waste of time. The old hardware and software still works, and works as if it were new, and I have never had an occasion to throw away a perfectly usable brush.

(Then again, no brush has ever frustrated me like a computer manages...)

So. I'm back.

Coherentlighthouse.com LIIIIIIIIIVES!

And, well, it just does.

(Thanks, Tony!)

CG History

The computer (I wish I knew who it was who originally said) is a stupid pencil with millions of colors. I'm rather late to the game in even appreciating the value of CG to filmmaking (that is, it took Jurassic Park to get my eyes clawed open).

After that, I was all about those awesome tools they used (I acquired one first in 1996; an Indigo R4000.) I still maintain and use a number of SGI machines: Octanes, an Indigo R3000, an Indy (which has an amazingly fast boot time), and an Indigo². (All SGI IRIX machines are named after animals like Sarcosuchus_imperator, Paradoxides, Helicoprion, Carcharodon; the Macs in my employ must make do with names like Tsuburaya, Miyazaki, and Harryhausen.) Modern SGIs make use of conventional CPUs and are Linux, rather than IRIX-based, so I tend to pay far less attention to such things (and there is nothing more demotivating to the acquisition of new hardware like the feeling you're getting something that can be found in a common PeeCee). I now concentrate on the systems I have (one of the Octanes and my G4 PowerBook) in order to produce. I have a long way to go. But, CG has come a longer way, so I don't feel so bad.

Some good stuff (good == historical):
Pencil Test. Made entirely on (several) Mac II computers. (For some reason, I'm having trouble locating a similar project done entirely on the PeeCee. Anyone know of one?)

All of a sudden, everything is terribly expensive.

As in: either I get the car fixed, or move closer to work. As in, now. I don't even get paid until Monday.

$1800 for auto repairs. This is not going to happen. The vehicle's not worth that. That's even if I had that kind of money (six+ months of working at a newspaper+other economic factors == zero savings. Do not pass go. Do not collect anything.)

I'm looking into just getting the starter replaced, assuming I can find one for less than $400. I need to get the car from Anchorage to the Valley, so that it may receive a proper redneck burial.

I'm really tired of this. When I die, I hope I get to kick Henry Ford in the balls at least once.

End of an Era

Gary Gygax is dead at 69. (Vector.)

I grew up reading the man's work from the red Erol Otus cover Basic and Expert sets through AD&D, and Dragon Magazine in the 1980s (back when it was relevant). Although I haven't honestly played in years, I may exhume some old gaming materials from a shelf tonight, and commiserate with a friend.

New Beginnings...

Yesterday I quit my job, leaving two weeks notice in spite of the fact that I start the new job at 8 am on Tuesday. Due to the night-shift the old job had me working, I felt I could juggle both jobs until the two-weeks' notice expired. I don't know if management agrees with me, but at this point, management's agreement with me on anything is purely moot.

So why did I quit? Was I tired of getting paid anything but what I was worth? (A note to self for the future: verify in advance whenever an advertisement claims a hired applicant will be paid dependent upon experience; in this case, it was a falsehood.) Partly. But the stress was most of the reason.

I've started having extended panic attacks since, oh, about August of last year. This was... making it difficult to function, much less be happy or pursue anything that would make me happy.

And I have better things to do than wander through life and not be happy.